Thoughts for Food

Our regular review of culinary delights and disappointments around campus. Today’s critique: 7-Eleven.

You’re feeling peckish and don’t have time for a full meal. You just need a snack to carry you through your next class or meeting. Our staff reviewers ravaged the stacks at 7-Eleven in the TD Bank mini-mall, at 1623 Flatbush Avenue, to see what would work for you. On a scale of 1 to 5 (poor to excellent), we rated the following 7-Eleven–brand snacks.

Sausage Biscuit

Sausage Biscuit (2)
If you tote this microwavable treat back to the cafeteria’s microwave, be prepared for the flaky biscuit to “become a sponge” after 30 seconds of heating, and “sausage origins that remain questionable.”

7-Eleven Nuts

Smoky Bacon Cheddar Peanuts (2)
Overall, we liked the “hint of barbecue” and the “nice burst of spice,” but we weren’t so fond of the “chalky aftertaste” and the “lack of either bacon or cheddar flavor,” leading us to wonder how one manages to “mess up bacon, cheddar, and peanuts.”

Chipotle Tequila Lime Peanuts (1½)
Overall, we said, “Nuts to these nuts!” Although one reviewer “will be hunting these out,” we generally agreed that these “just gross” peanuts “taste like lime floor cleaner.” They’re “simply unnatural.”

Queso-Flavored Pistachio Nuts (1)
“Pistachios around the world are protesting” the “vile” flavor of this concoction. We truly felt like we were “eating something that was slightly spoiled” made worse by something that “tastes like bad cheese,” something that “resembles Velveeta.”

7-Eleven Cake

Double Chocolate Cake With Icing (4)
This “moist and fudgy” dessert “goes down easy” and “will satisfy your sweet tooth.” We were unanimously “surprised” by this “tasty treat” that “could easily sit on a shelf at a world-class bakery.”


Wild Cherry Slurpee (1)
“This classic needs to go back to basics,” largely because of the “highly acidic, chemical cherry flavor.” Akin to “watered-down medicine,” this sweet, icy beverage prompted one of our reviewers to claim he could “almost taste the type 2 diabetes.”

Birthday Cake Slurpee (2)
Just a tiny notch better than its Wild Cherry cousin, this Slurpee “holds it iciness well,” but our reviewers felt that its “artificial” flavor tasted like “the Caribbean on a low-budget cruise.”

7-Eleven Chips

Salt & Vinegar Potato Chips (3½)
The “great crunch” and “strong vinegar” flavor really “knocked us out.” The “addictive” tang of these kettle-style chips that are “not overly salty” helped make them our favorite chip.

Sriracha Potato Chips (2)
We enjoyed the “great crunchiness,” and the ruffles “were a nice touch.” But the “slightly artificial flavor” that “tastes like cardboard” made us generally feel that these chips are “not spicy, not Sriracha, and not good.”

Sundried Tomato Potato Chips (2)
These “sturdy chips” were “remarkably average.” We found ourselves asking, “Where’s the sundried tomato?” To sum it up, these chips are “a whole lotta nope in one bag.”

Smoked Gouda Potato Chips (3)
These “very good” chips received “points for chip thickness,” but they were not without their detractors. The gouda was “bland,” and the smokiness ranged from “burnt rubber” to “charcoal from a barbecue pit.”